Marriage

The Meaning of Marriage

In the Orthodox Church, marriage is not a legal contract or a mere social institution, but a sacrament that transforms human love into a reflection of Divine Love.

  • Eternal Union: Christ taught that marriage is unique and indestructible. It is the "baptising" of human love, ensuring that the union does not "part in death" but continues into the Kingdom of God.

  • Martyrdom: The couple is crowned with "crowns of martyrdom." This does not mean suffering in a negative sense, but witness: they are called to die to their own selfishness and live entirely for the other, just as Christ gave Himself for the Church.

  • No Vows: Unlike Western traditions, the Orthodox service contains no exchange of vows. The union is not sealed by a verbal contract between the couple, but by the grace of the Holy Spirit.

Crowning and Common Cup

The ceremony is patterned after Baptism and Chrismation. Key elements include:

  • The Crowning: The bride and groom are crowned (usually with stefana or wreaths) as the king and queen of their new family kingdom. This symbolises the glory of God and the self-sacrifice required to rule their home in love.

  • The Common Cup: The couple drinks from a shared cup of wine. This symbolises that from this moment on, they will share a common life—bearing one another’s burdens and sharing one another’s joys.

  • The Procession: The priest leads the couple around the table three times, symbolising their first steps as a married couple following the Gospel towards the Kingdom of God.

Ethics of Marriage

  • Procreation: While the creation of children is a natural fulfilment of love, it is not the sole purpose of marriage. A childless couple can still live a fully Christian life.

  • Contraception: This is a delicate matter. While generally discouraged in principle, it may be permitted under careful pastoral guidance.

  • Abortion: Strictly forbidden. It is considered a grave moral risk, permissible only in extreme cases (e.g., to save the mother's life).

Practical Guidelines

1. Requirements & Booking

  • Who can marry:

    • Ideally, both partners are Orthodox Christians.

    • Mixed Marriages: By oikonomía (pastoral exception), an Orthodox Christian may marry a non-Orthodox Christian only if the partner belongs to a Trinitarian denomination (e.g., Catholic, Anglican) and they agree to baptise children in the Orthodox Church.

    • Marriage to non-Christians or the unbaptised is not permitted.

  • Sponsors (Koumbaros/Koumbara): The sponsor (best man/maid of honour) must be an Orthodox Christian in good standing. A non-Orthodox person may only witness the civil registration.

  • Paperwork needs to be reviewed 2-3 months beforehand

    • Application Form: Signed by the couple, two witnesses, and the priest.

    • Certificate of Non-Impediment: Required for both bride and groom (usually from the church where you were baptised). Note: Valid for only 3 months.

    • Fees: Archdiocesan fees apply (£60 for application).

2. Civil Registration

  • Beforehand: You need to have a civil wedding at a registry office prior to the church date. Note: The religious wedding cannot legally proceed without prior civil registration.

3. What to Bring

  • Wedding rings.

  • Crowns (stefana).

  • Two white candles (large or small).

  • A bottle of ecclesiastical wine.

  • A cup or glass.

4. Weddings may not take place

Weddings generally cannot take place during fast days, fasting periods or major feast days, including:

  • Wednesdays and Fridays.

  • From 13th until 26th December

  • 5th and 6th January

  • From Forgiveness (Cheesefare) Sunday until Pascha

  • From 1st August until 14th August, which is the fasting period for the Dormition of our Most Holy Lady the Theotokos and Ever Virgin Mary

  • On 29th August, which is the Beheading of the Holy and Glorious Prophet, Forerunner and Baptist John

  • On 14th September, the Elevation of the Venerable and Life-Giving Cross

  • During the Fast of the Holy Apostles

  • On the two observances of "Saturday of Souls" — the first observance falls on the Saturday before Judgement (Meatfare) Sunday, and the second occurs on the Saturday before Pentecost

  • Pentecost Sunday, and Monday of the Holy Spirit

Divorce and Remarriage

The Orthodox Church teaches that marriage should be eternal. Divorce is viewed as a tragedy and a "fall."

  • Grounds: Divorce is only acknowledged when the marriage has effectively already been destroyed by adultery or abandonment (which includes abuse).

  • Remarriage: The Church may allow a second (or third) marriage out of mercy (oikonomía) for the salvation of the individual. However, the service for a second marriage is penitential in nature, asking for forgiveness, rather than purely celebratory.

  • Process: Ecclesiastical divorce petitions are handled by the Archdiocese Ecclesiastical Court, not the local priest.